If Only They’d Told Me is happy to give you this Guest Blog by Ken Myers.
Ken is an expert advisor on in-home care and related family safety issues to many websites and groups. Ken lives in the USA with his wife and three children.
Being a mother and managing a career can be quite a handful for a woman who has one child let alone having several. As the children grow older, they could begin showing signs of anxiety if Mommy is away for too long. If your child starts verbalising his or her discomfort with you being gone all the time, maybe you should take a closer look at your scheduling techniques. Eventually, the child will simply stop caring about your presence and begin living life on his or her own accord. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing to happen, but you could be missing out on vital important steps in the child’s development.
What good is a lucrative career if your family is starting to fall apart? Here are four things to keep in mind:
1. Reliance – Absence doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder. In fact, it is rarely the case when it comes to children. Sure, they will be excited when Mommy comes home to play with them. But after so long, the feeling wears off and they begin developing self-reliance at a young age. While this is a good skill to have in life, it shouldn’t be an eight-year-old’s ambition.
2. Pageantry – One of the highest points in a child’s life is the moment they are part of a class production in order to win the favor of his or her parents. They love to hear how proud Mommy and Daddy are and will go to great lengths for that reassurance. Missing out on these plays begins driving a wedge between yourself and your child that becomes increasingly difficult to pull out. Although you may not think that missing a play or two is a big deal, it is very big to the little ones. It can be a heart wrenching experience for the child as he or she may begin developing doubts that they are good enough for your praises. Believe it or not, it does surely happen.
3. Shopping – Even mundane weekly chores can make a great amount of difference for your child when it comes to spending time with you. Tasks as simple as shopping can help solidify a bond between yourself and your child. This is especially powerful if the time spent is one-on-one. In multiple child households, these shopping trips should be spread out among the children as one may begin harboring animosity towards the other. There needs to be a chore or an activity that is just one-on-one with each of your children. This special time can go a long way to help assert the child within your life.
4. Family Activities – Although you may live a busy life with managing your career, family activities need to be penciled in at some point. If you are away too often, the family may regard you as more of a roommate than a parent. In order for the child to develop without disorders, parents need to be involved in his or her life. Even if it is as simple as a picnic at a park for a few hours on the weekend. Activities strengthen the family dynamic and could help the child overcome self-conscious behaviors as you demonstrate that they are important to you. Making time for your children shouldn’t be a chore for you to accomplish. These little ones are a part of you and need guidance and wisdom from their parents. It’s portrayed all too often on television where the child is upset because the mother or father was never there for them. Although this is just Hollywood storytelling, the situation happens far too often in today’s world.
Live life with your child, not because of them.
About the Author: Ken Myers is an expert advisor on in-home care & related family safety issues to many websites and groups. He is a regular contributor to GoNannies.com. You can get in touch with him at firstname.lastname@example.org.
How do you manage your time for career and family?