Diane Levy shares her top tips for fussy eaters and toilet training.

Posted in: Parenting, Podcast  |  December 17, 2012 at 10:39 pm
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When Diane Levy promised to share her insights on fussy eaters and toilet training with me, I was thrilled. When Jack was a baby I had attended one of Diane’s courses at the Auckland Parenting Place on Getting Your Toddler to Eat. I was convinced that Jack was a terrible eater….until I attended the course and heard horror stories from other mothers about children who only ever ate one particular brand of yoghurt for every meal or threw their plates at their stressed parents.

There is no doubt that mealtimes is one of the most stressful aspects of parenting.

Here Diane shares her tips on how to get a fussy eater to eat…

  • Our job as a parent is to offer food to our child when they are hungry. It is up to them what they do with it.
  • If you know you have a fussy eater then do not overspend time and energy on making dinner as  you will be fraught and tense before you even serve food.
  • The end of the day is always the time when they are most exhausted so try to make this mealtime as easy for everyone as possible eg carbs could just be a sandwich or pasta if that is easier than peeling a potato.
  • Breakfast – your child may not be hungry as soon as they wake up in the morning – they could be a 9am eater for example…so, if it means a honey sandwich in the back of the car to get them to Kindy in time then that’s fine too.
  • Children’s tastes change – they may love broccoli on Tuesday but hate it on Thursday. Just take a deep breath and know it will change again by Saturday.
  • You can never win a feeding battle – it will end in tears – so don’t  battle and don’t get uptight about how much your child eats.
  • If your child doesn’t want to eat their dinner and says they’re not hungry then say ‘that’s fine’ and let them get down and put their plate to one side. If they come back 10mins later and say they’re hungry, say ‘That’s fine, darling. I saved your dinner for you.’ and represent their dinner. If they say they are not hungry for dinner but they are hungry for ice-cream then let them know pleasantly it is not going to happen!
  • If they genuinely don’t like something then don’t keep putting it in front of them – by constantly representing it you are not taking into account their feelings and likes & dislikes.
  • Change around mealtimes – make it a picnic dinner or dinner in the garden or sit down with them and have your meal at the same time as children always eat better when you are eating with them.
  • Children can be extremely stubborn and battle over mealtimes can be constant and depressing. Take the mileage out of the food and let it be appetite driven. Serve what you know the child reasonably likes and take the hassle out of mealtimes.
  • Don’t make a big deal out of a meal.
  • If your child refuses to eat a meal, don’t then go and make another meal for them. You are not a smorgasbord and your kitchen is not a restaurant!

TOILET TRAINING

  • How do you know when a child is ready to toilet train?  You assume as a parent that they will turn 2 1/2 or 3years and they will naturally be ready to potty train. That’s not quite true. Often a child shows us signs that they are aware of their toileting but we can easily miss them. eg if a child tells you that they have weed in their nappy or they are pooing in their nappy – that is fabulous as it shows you that they are aware of their body. It is now time to try!
  • When you want to start them on the potty then give them a large glass of water then 30 mins later pop them on the potty. Practice this often so they get the experience of sitting on the potty. Get into the habit of clock-watching and  brightly saying: “Time to check if there is a wee hiding in there…” pop them on the potty and count to 20. If there is no wee then say ‘Oops I was no…there was no wee in there..’ / if they do go then say ‘Yay! we were right – there was a wee in there.’ and make your child feel part of it.
  • Do not ask: “Do you want to go?” as more often than not they will say they don’t even if they do.
  • If they are jiggling around…big tip – get them to the toilet quickly!
  • Don’t lose your cool – show the child there is no big deal and take the angst out of it.

Last week I spoke with Diane about temper tantrums, getting children to do as they are told and heaps more. You can check out last week’s blog here: Diane Levy Blog 1

Win your own copy of Diane Levy’s book “Of Course I Love You…now go to your room.” Simply submit a comment below with your details and you will automatically be entered into the draw.

To ask Diane a question then either email comments@ifonlytheydtoldme.com or put a comment here and Diane will answer it.

Diane is also available for private consultations or via skype. Check out the full podcast interview here.

Diane’s book covers a huge range of topics from tots to teens, fussy eaters and HEAPS more…You can buy it through our Products We Love page if you are not lucky enough to win your copy.

 

 

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Written by

Jacqui Lockington is a working mum. Jacqui works full-time for an advertising agency in New Zealand and juggles life at work with being mum to two young children, Jack and Sasha. Jacqui is married to John and has just finished her first book with co-author, Nat - If Only They'd Told Me - due out later this year. Jacqui trained in journalism in London and worked in radio, newspapers, public relations and advertising before moving to New Zealand where she currently lives with her family. You can contact Jacqui at Jacqui@ifonlytheydtoldme.com
  • Christine cleary

    Such common sense information but when you are stuck in a rut with what you think is a fussy eater you dont sem to be able to think straight. Thanks for the info, it should save some battles in our house.

  • http://bit.ly/lysbblogchallenge Janine

    Great post thanks Diana and Jacqui,

    Lots of the points about food resonated for me and it’s great to hear that these are common issues faced by many parents (we are not alone!)

    While in the UK, we met a woman who practiced nappy free parenting with her daughter from a very early age. It looked like they’d had great fun with it so we decided to give it a go back in NZ when our little daughter Bella arrived.

    We have had such a wonderful experience, and so few parents seem to know about this approach, that I felt it was worthwhile sharing a bit more about it here.

    For those that aren’t familiar with it, infant potty training, also known by some as nappy free parenting, or ‘elimination communication’ , sounds complicated but is simple really, meaning you read your babies signs from an early age and pick up their cues for going to the toilet, then ‘catch’ them in an infant potty instead of their nappy.

    It’s all based on the premise that babies prefer not to sit in their own poop or wee, and if given the opportunity will quickly learn how to communicate when they need to go.

    After initial doubts about whether it could possibly work, we were blown away by baby Bella’s response. We started playing around with her (very cute baby potty from about 3 months, and quickly learnt when she was most likely to pee (after waking up, after breastfeeding, after a bit of a cry). We were fairly relaxed about the whole thing and weren’t obsessed with being nappy free, but focused more on observing and trying to read where Bella was at.

    It has been heaps of fun and a really great bonding experience for all of us. At first it was definitely more us reading her signs and seeing patterns, but it wasn’t long before the communication started to become more of a two way thing.

    We still used nappies a fair bit in the first year, but Bella definitely picked up that the potty is where to ‘go and the nappy was there as a back up. By 18 months she was pretty much nappy free during the day and at 2 she is still wearing a nappy at night, but it’s usually dry in the morning and she takes it off to go for a wee in the big toilet!

    The transition between all these phases has happened at her pace, and in a very relaxed way. No stress! We’ve also saved hundreds of dollars on nappies which is great.

    I’d highly recommend giving this approach a go if you are thinking about it, we’ll definitely be doing it all again with no. 2, due in just a few weeks!

    Thanks again,

    Janine